Hardcore Valentine



it’s that day again,

fannies are thoroughly cleaned
and shelved for
public consumption

the skies are pouring
and the ground is covered with chocolates

reality is freakishly pink
and even my middle finger
is heart shaped

boobies meet bollocks
love is just sex
spelled backwards

all vaginas spin like crazy
trading fucks for
free dinners.



Ok, I’ll admit

I got sloppy and I forgot to kiss the moon
on both cheeks
and then
when her mother was looking the other way
guess what?

I pissed on her door like an untrained puppy.

The response was
a little bit harsh
but most deserved.

The skies farted rain for a year
and I had to hide under a sombrero.

There was nothing to eat and drink there,
except margaritas
and nothing to fuck,
but Jennifer Lopez
and her famous ass.

It was a long year
but I survived and I promise
(cross my heart and the shit)
I’ll behave
and I’ll even feed her piglets next time,
bake them cookies and all that.

All I ask is
ditch Jennifer.

Puppy Love




throw me a smile
and I’m going to fetch you
a blanket of kisses
to keep you warm
when you’re alone
and the skies are pouring sadness
all over you.

throw me a word
and I’m going to fetch you
the sunniest story
to cheer you up
when winter freezes your soul
and refuse to go away.

throw me a touch
and I’m going to fetch you
the mightiest hug
to guard your heart
against all evil forever.